Random Stupid Stuff

Amused.

Bemused.

Confused.

I had to double check my calendar when I saw this news story; I was quite surprised to see that April Fool’s Day was three weeks ago.

Congo police have arrested 13 people accused of using witchcraft to shrink men’s pënìšëš. Panic is widespread in the capital city of Kinshasa as local radio stations are warning listeners “to beware of fellow passengers in communal taxis wearing gold rings.”

“But when you try to tell the victims that their pënìšëš are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent.” — Police Chief Jean-Dieudonne Oleko

The victims should simply check their email accounts, as there are probably many offers to sell cheap Viagra awaiting.

1. Park twice as far from the tree as the tree is tall.
2. Notch the tree on the opposite side, away from the truck.
3. The fact that you live within driving distance of a forest does not make you a lumberjack.
4. Always borrow your friend’s truck.
5. Most importantly, never wear colors that match your truck after January. Definitely a fashion no-no.

There are so many things that pop into mind when I see this:

• President Bush tentatively strikes his “Statue of Liberty” pose.
• When they said, “My fellow countrymen, lend me your ears”, I’m not sure they meant it literally.
• Pardon me, Condoleezza — you want me to shove this where?
• Shuck off, America! It’s my oil!
• How do they turn this into flakes?

Yikes!! I didn’t realize that I’m a month behind posting stupid stuff. Well, I’ve been super, duper busy, so spank me.

Reuters news article:

Japan’s Obama towns dances for U.S. namesake
Hundreds of residents in the sleepy Japanese fishing port of Obama sang and danced on Wednesday to try to cheer up Barack Obama after his winning steak in the U.S. presidential primaries stalled.

How do you stall a steak, let alone a winning steak?

Yes, I made you wait almost five weeks for that. No apologies.