Random Stupid Stuff

Korea’s LG Electronics recently filed for a patent on a combination home appliance and MP3 player:

“A home appliance with an MP3 player comprising: the MP3 player adapted for storing contents; and a washing device for washing or drying clothes, the washing device being connectable with the MP3 player and having a communication function with the MP3 player to play back the contents stored in the MP3 player.”

Yes, it comes with built-in speakers. What’s next? A microwave with a built-in PDA? A hard water softener with VOIP?

Someone’s got a sense of humor!

What makes the thought of a Hillary Clinton nutcracker just that much funnier is that it’s almost impossible to tell what side the creator of the product is on — for or against this politically and socially strong female.

Hillary is standing with her arms crossed and her legs confidently spread in a powerful stance — ready to crack your nuts with her stainless steel thighs.

Just like Hillary, nuts are not included.

Of course, there are the frequent vomit trips to the bathroom, but most of the time, I have no sympathy for the glamorous lifestyle of models — the exotic locations, the lavish attention, the free drinks at bars, the mullah, the brainless comradery of a group of half-naked, A-cup, skinny white girls.

However, for this skinny white girl I do have some sympathy. No way I’d go out in public wrapped in a shapeless diarrhea-hued rug held closed with a belt made from the braided nose hairs of a Viking while sporting footwear fashioned from the remains of a dead crow.

That might explain her scowl.

The secret is out.

Men know what tampons are, what they’re used for, and how they work. There’s no real reason to try to hide them anymore.

And if there is still one guy out there who doesn’t get it, I’m not you’re sending the right message if you quietly announce that you need to visit the ladies’ room and spend some quality time with a banana. Especially since you gals tend to visit the powder room in pairs.

This cushy baguette is the perfect size for keeping your arms positioned at the right angle with soft, cushioning cell foam that looks remarkably real.

I eat my lunch at my desk, and would probably accidentally break off an end for an afternoon low-blood-sugar snack.

Wonder if I could get workman’s comp for getting sick from eating foam rubber on the job…