No, I don’t have anything else better to do. Thanks for asking.
I’ve decided to add a new feature that will show up every week, or two, or basically whenever I feel like it.
Be stupid, and go waste some time!
UK’s GenCorp offers up the ultimate in Yuletide technology:
“At your meeting, you’re about to give a presentation. It’s 9AM Monday morning, and the people gathered around the table don’t look at all enthusiastic. And you stayed up late the previous evening working hard! But it’s cold outside and it’s nearly Christmas. Everyone would rather be celebrating! What can you do? Will taking out a pile of floppy disks from your bag put a smile on their faces? No! Instead, you take out your USB MINCE PIE. It is one of those incredible magical moments. Suddenly the room is alive and everyone is like a kid again, full of the joy of the season and ready to listen to you.”
Founded in 1978, the company states that its worldwide business has a two-million-strong workforce in China, and European offices in Amsterdam and Hull, Yorkshire — despite the fact that the company’s only products are 128MB and 256MB versions of their Mincemeat Pie USB memory.
OK, the jig’s up. Yes, it’s a fake product from a fake company, the brainchild of a UK tech rag. But it still has that marvelous mantra of stupidity surrounding it.
Speaking of sticking your banana where it doesn’t belong…
Nobody needs a $7 protective case for their banana. Not unless it was recently used to check shore power cables, in which case it’s so far gone you might as well make banana bread with it.
On a side note, I’ll bet that this is the first time this banana eater has been so close to an almost naked woman. And where the hëll did they get that idiotic host?!
There are many days that I fervently hope that Google doesn’t publish millions of people’s search terms the way AOL did. This is one of those days; not only for your sake, but for mine in having discovered this “specimen”.
While I generally have no issues about things that consenting adults do behind closed doors, I’ve got to admit that I find this sex “toy” to be hugely disturbing.
I can’t help but picture some mutant, quadruple-amputee dwarf, sporting a pënìš for a head.
I’m really hoping that whatever deranged individual that designed this horrific perversion of all that is wholesome and good about real naked girls (who actually possess torsos and appendages) checks the shore power cable by inserting his pënìš.
The world does not need you. Visit the Great Lakes. Ask for Dave.
Since we’re on the topic of abuse of power…
Engineer Dave Daniels, a crew member of a tug boat that patrols the Milwaukee side of the Great Lakes and the Milwaukee and Menomonee Rivers, proudly demonstrates the proper way to check the shore power cable.
Fortunately, Dave is still alive; I found a picture of him taken over four months later.
More power to you, Dave. But stay away from trains; their electrical systems can pack over 600 volts at several thousand amperes, easily enough to arc from that cable to your tongue with deadly consequences.
